December 31st, 1998

sal

where do I begin
and even try to spin
the happenings of weeks past
me acting like an ass
lost out in love
like the lonely dove
sitting waiting for the return
of the morning’s dew

one sip, or two?

i left this world by force
circumstantial divorce
and returned with a passion
a long lasting action
a promise to myself
that aside from material wealth
i make myself whole
and stop acting the role
of a long lost soul

i’ve hocked up the toll

it’s time for me to start working
and living
and respecting
life as I know it
with the clarity
and a philosophy
that can bring
a baptized christian down
on two bent knees
and examine the psalms
from another scripture
with a more profound diction

(i’m not talking about a glowing box
from the movie pulp-fiction)

i don’t know if you’ll ever
truly understand a man
with the internal scars of a slave,
made to behave
bellowing an institutionalized rave-
ing scream…

(an unheard dream)

i’ve got to move on
so that’s what i’ll do
it only kills me to think
that i’m doing this without you
but if you want to know a what
or even ask me a stupid ass why
please don’t hesitate
for each night i die
a bit more and more
thinking that i lost you
i’m sorry but it’s true
i still love you
i still love you…