connecting*the*dots

Alright, I forked over another $45 to take up another 15 hours of my time per week by purchasing "Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003" and have been glued to my Dell for the past two weeks. Talk about addictive. Wow.

The environments in the game are as close to realistic as you can imagine. The waves crash on the shores of Pebble Beach. Trees wave in 25mph winds as mist rolls across the fairway. The surfaces are so life-like, you can feel how the ball lands on the playing surface. Once you get past the beauty of the product, the addictive nature of climbing the professional tour ladder comes into play, earning money from tournaments and adding skills to your game and before you realize it… it’s 3am and your eyes are glued to the flag 300 yards off in the virtual distance.

I originally purchased this to offset the violence of Medal of Honor, as I’d play MOH for a few hours and my brain would spaz out for an hour before I could go to bed. Now I don’t dream of killing Nazis, I just fall asleep to Tiger pumping his damn fist.

Punk.

damn…
the months have just crawled on by
i thought time was really going to fly
all i keep hearing in my head
is myself telling me to get the lead
out of my system
i’ve got 32 years of wisdom
that tells me you’re not going to call
not going to show your face at all
but for some reason i keep putting my smarts on the back shelf
refusing to move on
i got swingeritis
my love jones long from being long gone
so now i sit in the dark
in my shorts and t-shirt and week old socks
drinking oj from the carton
staring at my pet turtle’s rocks
i keep wondering why you left me
i know
it’s a pathetic sight
but moving on without that closure
is like a lewis-tyson fight
no mas
i’m beat
i keep thinking about what could’ve been
and then i remember what i consider to be a true friend
one that doesn’t split town when things get tough
one that supports you when times are rough
one that shares laughter as well as the tears
one that supplies courage when all that’s left is fear
man this shit is ridiculous
i feel like i’m dropping a hallmark card
found in the “missing you” category
i’m such a fucking retard
i guess it’s time i turn on the lights and open the window a crack
breathe in the fresh air and forget the things i lack
the one that i miss up in the comforts of good ol’ mass
but it’s time i sip from my own cup
and drink my oj from a glass

the air is thick
filled with gaseous vapor
a pulled off caper
paid with dirty green paper
manifest destiny
poured into our spongy brains as kids
screwed on tight were our corrupt gray-matter lids
our god given right to conquer and expand
moving out across the land
with a gun in our hands
just now we don’t stop at the rim of the pacific
to be more specific
our treacherous skills have become prolific
the new world order
the axis of evil
locked down borders
governments in upheaval
where do we not have our paws in the mix?
our capricious actions have become too much to fix
so on the offensive we go again
no way we’d rethink
no way we’d change our plan
the harder we push
the greater the anti-american
sentiment
fostered by the actions of our self-serving
government
makes you and i feel powerless
seemingly unable to make a difference
just what the administration wants
apathy and indifference
maybe one person can squash the ignorance!
yeah right…
unless i’m the ceo of a faceless corporation
with bankroll to support a fledgling candidate
i’ll be stuck with my own convictions
stewing more and becoming irate
some may call it pessimism
i just call it fate.
come on people…
take a nibble on my bait.

rolling over the lump of bed that was once you
i wipe my eyes and set up the groove
kick on the slips
hit the head
jump in the shower thinking about my bed
scrub a dub dub
moving on through the morn
it’s the norm
how else do you move on from a dream to reality?
how else do you find a new cup of tea?

stepping down the stairs to the platform below
moving through the morning crowd
the world is passing on by
rumbling and loud
silent and strong
the distance is so long
between where i am and where i once was
or is that just my perception
lost in the reflection of her eyes
the woman sitting in front of the rail map
the woman reading yoga 101: stretch or feel like crap
the woman yapping about her dog’s flee’s
the woman looking back straight through me…
i don’t know anymore
i admit i’m a bit lost
i’m afraid i think too much to keep my sanity at any cost
what i do know is that this is my stop
so i have to get off