connecting*the*dots

Until this past July, I had never lived in a house with a working garage.

As a kid, my parents parked in the driveway and as an adult, the majority of my renting years were in urban environments paying for a spot. So all those tool commercials and images of garage mayhem over the years pretty much escaped me.

But I’m a perceptive person; I get how the image of a garage is one tie of many to homogeneous normalcy. So, over the years, I’ve taken notes while experiencing — first-hand — what goes down inside the signifier of friends and relatives suburban existence.

Because, quite honestly, I’d be nothing if I weren’t a contributing part of the whole.

An example of my apperception: My Uncle Bob attaches a tennis ball to a string and dangles it down from the ceiling of his garage for his windshield to touch, marking exactly how deep his car can be parked without blocking the door to the house.

Ingenious, right?

Well, with my recent venture into home ownership, I think my car stopper has his version beat, hands down.

I’m sure those that know me can picture the grin plastered onto my face each time I maneuver my truck in and out of the garage.

To those that don’t know me, well, it’s a simple case of me hating the very concept of corporate management — either being in the position or reporting into the hierarchy.

Actually, it’s not that simple.

I have no issues working with corporate management from a consulting perspective; I can work with anyone and their internal politics as long as my rate is being paid and I have no long-term skin in their games.

But from within the system of corporate management itself? Let’s just say that my years within the machine taught me a hell of a lot about real world politics… and in ways that I regret and despise today.

Corporate employment provides you with more than a dress code at the job; it encourages you develop multiple personalities — or masks — in order to encourage and coax ridiculously high degrees of throughput from your employees, all the while dealing with similar two-faced assholes as yourself who are attempting to climb their own corporate ladders.

I’m now 18 months free of that game and I couldn’t be happier.

Especially when I park my car.

w00t!

The closing is in just over a month. A big shout to Ed for introducing me to the neighborhood and walking me through.