connecting*the*dots

This new parody of Ed’s blog is killing me. Whoever is responsible, please don’t out yourself, just keep dropping the hits.

And yes, I got spoofed as well:

Yo, yo, yo. Joisey in da house.

I’m so plugged in I can’t stand myself.

Heh.

Day one.

[…] “After four days of networking, dodging vendors, collecting goodies, and possibly mating, the librarians are tired and ready to return home.” […]

Hilarious.

Bostonians can sleep safely now that Jack Bauer is on the job.

YTMND rocks.

Johnny Marr & David Cross covering Ethan Chandler’s Bank of America “One” cover.

In more corporate stupidity news, Universal Music Publishing Group has issued a cease and desist letter to a blog showing the original BofA “One” video.

Be sure to download your copy of the video before YouTube kills caves to another lawyer.

Have they no shame! Heh…

I caught zefrank’s amazing frog heuristic review of Ticketmaster awhile back, but it didn’t register until recently that zefrank of then = zefrank of theshow.

Thanks to Molly and Ed for making the connection and getting me hooked. Awesomeness!

Two master linguists, in an interview for the ages:

[…]

AG: So when animals chat to each other, does them talk in language?

NC: Well, that’s more or less a matter of definition. I mean, every organism has some means of communication, including insects.

AG: How many words does you know?

NC: Well… the… normally humans, by maturity, have tens of thousands of words…

AG: For real?

NC: Yeah.

AG: What is some of them?

NC: Well, the ones we’re using.

AG: For real. Me know loads of words: parachute, photograph, anthems, spaghetti, camera…

NC: Well, if you count them up it’ll be in the tens of thousands.

[…]

Stephen Colbert delivered his show the other night at the White House Correspondent Dinner. Being that he has already captured the admiration and imagination of the 18 - 34 demographic, I think it’s safe to say that with this speech, Colbert is giving Pappa Bear O’Reilly a run for his money in the numbed, geriatric demographic.

My favorite moment:

Most of all, I believe in this president. Now I know there are some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating, but guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in “reality.”

And reality has a well known liberal bias.

So Mr. President, please, please, pay no attention to the people that say that the glass is half-full.

32% means the glass… heh… (looking directly at the president) it’s important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people that say that the glass is half-empty.

Because, 32% means it’s two-thirds empty… There’s still some liquid in that glass is my point… But I wouldn’t drink it… The last third is usually backwash, okay…

Unbelievably unflappable.

UPDATE: The mainstream media isn’t covering this event at all. Chris Durang:

…Stephen Colbert was the star attraction at the White House Correspondents Dinner Saturday night, and his performance was thrilling or insulting or uncomfortable, depending on your point of view. Apparently, according to Editor and Publisher.com, President and Mrs. Bush looked very uncomfortable, and quickly left right afterward.

But the mainstream media is apparently ignoring this part of the evening, and instead is covering the early entertainment where Bush and a look-alike imitator do a “he says this, he’s really thinking this” routine. Moderately amusing, but very mild.

This, by the way, is the same Washington event where Bush previously charmed many (and horrified others) by pretending to have trouble finding Weapons of Mass Destruction (after we’d started to realize they weren’t in Iraq), and wandered the room looking under tables. Really cute, huh? They should send videos of that to the families of soldiers killed…

Jesus’ General hit his stride a long time ago, but he’s in the zone this week. If you don’t know the General by now, well, you’re going to hell.

Repent sinners.

Some of the General’s recent classics:

• My response to the vile bastards who are trying to destroy America by destroying me
• Red State Jesus
• Three Years

Well, maybe not 3D, but still… what an amazing set of spot-on patriotic posters. You gotta love the old school style of poster art. The sad thing is that I’m having a hard time calling many of these “spoofs.”

Ah, someone with a sense of timing and a sense of humor! How good is this?

Now, all I ask is take it to the next level. Whoever put this together, if you have the time or inclination, create a database of all appointable government positions and track and update appointments with the details of each individual’s background, their known relationships to the power structure of the time, who affirmed their appointment in the house, etc.

Basically, refocus this as "Government Crony Jobs" and update it across all administrations. While Bush is the worst culprit in recent memory (in terms of cronyism leading to loss of lives), we all know that corruption isn’t party based.

Political satire is awesome. Political satire framed with real-time information is powerful. It’s accountability.

(via Jesus’ General)